Neurofeedback Day 1

It has been a year since my accident as of tomorrow. I have bounced around from referral to referral to try different treatments and navigated many doctor’s offices waiting rooms. Back in August I finally found a neurologist that understood my symptoms and through doing the QEEG testing diagnosed me with traumatic brain injury and scheduled my first neurofeedback session for today. It is basically like physical therapy for the brain to try to train the brain to go back to normal…that is the hope at least.

Leading up to today I have been so anxious to get started. I have so many sleepless nights, breakdowns from depression, explosions with my wife because my anxiety goes through the roof. That is just a short list of my problems. All while knowing this isn’t the normal me, but there is nothing I can do to control it.

Even the thought of going to the therapy session gave me anxiety because I read so much online, and you all know how that goes when you go on WebMD. I had expectations of what it was going to be like, and of course those expectations weren’t true.

For my symptoms the clinical psychologist wanted to do what he called biofeedback instead of the traditional neurofeedback where you watch the television for 40 minutes and different things go on to record your brain waves. All he had to do was clip something on both of my ears and on the top of my head for FIVE seconds and he was done. I was very surprised and glad it was so simple. I will trust in this process and give it all I can to try to become me again.

However, today has been a hard day. I woke up very sluggish and didn’t want to do anything. My amnesia has been giving me trouble as well. My wife needed me to go to the store on my way home to grab a few simple things. I ended up losing the card I was going to pay for it with after I paid to get gas. Once I realized I lost it after searching my car and canceling it I had a major breakdown because the same thing happened a few days ago. I had another card to pay for it, so I calmed myself down and went inside the store to get the supplies. I looked at my phone to see the list one last time because there were only two things to get, and well I forgot the most important part even while telling myself which aisle I needed to go to.

When I got home and realized that I forgot what my wife needed I had another meltdown. Thankfully she calmed me down and told me it wasn’t a big deal. I proceeded to emotionally eat my hot cheetos while petting one of my huskies, Sasha.

We just need to take it one step at a time.