Struggles with Insomnia and TBI
Sleep. That used to be a word that was in my vocabulary. Sleep. That was something I did during the night like most people. Sleep. Was not something I used to struggle with. To be honest I was one of those people that could fall asleep anywhere. In a tent, in a hut, in a box, or in bed. Didn’t matter. Noise did not bother me. Nothing got in the way of me and my sleep. Sleep was my friend, and it was one of my favorite parts of the day.
Insomnia is new to me. Well rather new, it has been trying to be my friend for the past year now. It has been a struggling relationship. I stay up late with insomnia as I scroll on my phone, bug my wife, stare at the corner in the room, and toss and turn all night.
Then morning comes. Can’t make myself get up...and nine comes around. Not a chance. Ten? No. 10:30 used to be the time I would get up during this past year, but nope now it is closer to noon. Unless I force myself to get up which we all know is hard to do. (I used to get up at six for work).
Sluggish. That is me. All day. I could sleep all day. While the rest of the world is busy I want to sleep. I am just tired. I take many naps. But I am tired of all my naps. I am tired of being tired. Today I am extremely tired, so here I am to vent.
I do what I can to help myself sleep. Tire myself out. Do my exercises. Take my medications. Try to keep a routine. Right now nothing is really working. I am hoping to get a new mattress here soon to see if that can help. I was told I will be getting a "MyPillow" for my birthday coming up soon. Maybe that will help.
Just frustrated and tired.
I am doing my best. I am motivated to get a control on all my mental health illnesses, but tonight I must vent. My traumatic brain injury has made me a tired person.
So here I am world. Vulnerable like I told you I would be. Being in the moment. Tired.