Facing a New Year Part 2 of 2
Hey everyone! Okay, so we need to dive into Part Two of Facing the New Year. Let’s get to it. As I said in the first part I have been very busy. Either with my biofeedback sessions which I will catch you all up on at the start of the new year, physical therapy, Christmas, lying in bed because of my migraines, working on my YouTube Channel, and I had two full days of neurological testing.
The testing that was done was very long and draining. Some of it was not so terrible, and some of it made me want to walk out of the office. I also learned that I cannot smell out of my left nostril and my right nostril is working around 10 percent. This is due to my traumatic brain injury. Some of the material I was failing was nothing that would cause me problems before my car accident. Such as putting a simple puzzle together. It was a puzzle that a child could put together. Frustration doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt in that moment.
A lot of it was memory based, and let’s just say I did not do well with it. The last part of all the testing was answering a roughly 600 question test that was based on personal questions. Such as do you have suicidal thoughts. Obviously, that was a lot of fun.
All this was so very draining. Mentally and physically. It took me almost a week to get over it. To be honest I was really upset with myself on how bad off my brain is, and the issues it is causing the rest of my body.
HOWEVER, after I got out of my depressed state of this matter I decided that as I am heading into a new year I am going to fight harder to be who I want to be. As stated on the first part of this post I sat down and made some goals. I am just no longer going to let this TBI determine who I am in life. I am so done with not doing the things I want to do, and being in this stalemate that 2017 was.
I think we all just have to hit rock bottom sometimes. 2017 was that for me. Not because of the TBI and everything that came with it, but how I reacted to the circumstance. I let myself stay in the rabbit hole. I understand I will get depressed again, anxiety will take hold of me, amnesia will make me forget something, insomnia will make me tired every day, and I will have more explosions. I also understand this may be the rest of my life, and that is OKAY.
My point is that I am choosing to keep moving. To go after whatever I want in life rather than sitting in self-pity. It is okay to be in that spot for a while. Life sucks sometimes. It gets really hard, but we cannot stay in that spot. No matter what the circumstance is, because the truth is life is pretty grand.
Some of us, like myself, will have to go slow at it, but it is not who finishes first that matters. It is the quality of the work you do. The quality of the kind of life you live.
So, friends, fight. Fight for the joy you desire, the adventure you dream about, the life you long for.
I am, and I want you to join me on this as we tackle 2018 together.
Let’s face 2018 together.
I can. You can. We can.
Good Vibes sent to you all – Travis